Excuse me, everybody, I’m a bit tired from spending the last week pitching the Razzbowl to the Shark Tank investors. See, I thought we had such a good program here — the best ball, the FAAB, the community — that we could turn this [waves hands around frantically] from the world’s biggest free Pros-V-Joes best ball tournament into a lucrative side-business. Then, Mark Cuban started talking about some team he owns, and I started talking about how I drafted Joe Mixon and Leonard Fournette, and then he started saying something about inexperience and over-my-head, and then I took my prop football and I threw it right over his head. Turns out, if you attack a billionaire, there’s a group of people who start following you, but not in a Korean boy-band kind of way.
So while I write this from the rest stop in eastern Kentucky eluding the finest private security vans that Cuban could hire, I trust that y’all will learn from my mistakes and do a Kickstarter in the future.
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo. My buddy and I looked at these silly looking dwarves singing a…